The Irish Connection

I was in Anjuna beach for a few nights, but it wasn't great. Luckily, I managed to ditch my bag and hire a scooter fairly easily and cheaply, so I've nipped up north to Arambol beach. It's a lot nicer here and I've found a great little hut on the beach and have bumped into a cool gang of heads from Wexford/West Cork... tis mighty craic altogether.

Ground Control to Major Tom

I’m likin’ whats goin’ on Stateside… The pictures in the papers, and the snippets (heh, snippits!)on television, appear to portray a nation attempting to redefine itself… and lets face it… The Yanks ain’t exactly flavour of the month flavour in most of the rest of the world. Although having said that, the rest of the world isn’t so perfect itself.

The problems we face today; Fundamentalism, Sustainability, Technology Control, do not fall at the feet of the United States, they’re shared problems that implicate humanity. Finding solutions to these problems is what will make the difference between us being a continuing feature in the spectacle of nature, or merely a failed experiment scratching its surface*.

The US has been playing the protagonist in this story for a while, but I think the recent events, the inauguration of Hilary Clinton as the first female President ever to take office in the United States White House… wait a sec… sorry, that was the wrong version of reality!

So Obama… wazzegonnado?

I bet if you met Obama, he’d give you a lollipop!

Question is: What’s he gonna do next… I mean, he only has the hopes of the entire Planet Earth resting on his shoulders. Fuuuuckckk, I would definitely not want to be him! I wouldn’t be surprised if his first act of office was a lollipop for every human being on the Planet. He’d probably actually go quite a way to cooling things down.

I can just imagine Ahmadinejad, getting his lollipop, in his office in Tehran. He’d probably have a great laugh. Ahmadinejad would probably ask one of the mullahs to pass him the phone and he’d give Obama a call on the telephone and say: “Hey dude, thanks for the lolly… the mullahs love theirs too… Yeah… No… Khamenei mouth’s gone all red and he loves the flavour… here listen, don’t worry about the nuclear stuff, we’ll just stop it… that cool…? cool…! we cool…? Cool!”.

Well lets hope that he manages to pull some kind of rabbit out of the hat… cos if he doesn’t… well… then… I guess we’ll see what then, won’t we…. Until then, I've lashed up some pics from Mumbai below ;-)

Ur man in Hindustan!

Mouth munching madness

So I’ve hit Goa… have left from the hustle and bustle of Bombay. I had an absolutely brilliant two weeks there. I made a good few Bombayite friends and feel that I tapped into the live of the city for the short time I was there. I met a lot of people there that I had met previously on my travels (Bombay seems to be that kind of place), I also met a Canadian writer who took me along on his journalistic discoveries of the city, and through him I made a lot of local friends… who brought me under the skin of the city.

So I got the train to Goa on Monday night. I broke the cardinal rule of traveling on Indian trains and I didn’t tell the people in my compartment what stop I was getting out at. So… naturally… I missed it. I presumed that I’d be up and adam by ten o’clock but it turns out that I slept so long and well (as it seems I can only do on trains) that I woke up and we had already passed it. I jumped off at the next stop and waited for an hour until I could get a train back.

Now I’m Goa and things are different… Well, for starters, I’m all on my tobler’ again. Not that I handle that (I’m a big boy), but I suppose I have to make an effort to meet people again. My plan is to explore the small state in the next three or four weeks (it’s only 80km long) and I wanted to hire a motorbike to help me in my endeavours.

When I arrived here yesterday, I hadn’t the foggiest what beach to go to. I wanted to go as far north as possible and to rent a motorbike there, so I was advised that Anjuna would be good, which is where I am now. Anjuna is one of the most developed beaches here and is fairly famous for its party scene. When I got here yesterday, I was overwhelmed by the lack of English spoken on the beach… the main languages here appear to be Russian and Hebrew… although there are a few Brits banging around as well.

Last night, after some fine dining and book reading, there wasn’t too much going on, so I figured I’d use the opportunity to get a rare early night. However, it being my first night there, I thought that I would go for a quick walk on the beach first. Five minutes into my walk, I started to hear banging loud trance music from the other end of the beach. My curiosity got the best of me, so I ventured down to find a mob of people thronging a beach side club.

I think that I lacked the serious cocktail of drugs that everyone else appeared to be enjoying and although I had a few drinks, I couldn’t really bring myself to dance very much… after trying to start a conversation with a few Israeli teeth-grinders, I decided to abandon the venture and figured that my early night was still half achievable.

So today, while my Israeli friends were snoozing, I was uber-productive. I got my hair chopped, trimmed my beard, did an hour and a half of serious sunbathing… and rented a motorbike for the day (to see how it was). I went for a cycle and although my Enfield did feel very strong and powerful between my legs (ahem!) I couldn’t really get the knack of the gears and spent most of the time fairly nervous… And that was on quiet back roads. Any time I went to stop, I would cut out and it would take me ten minutes to restart, always belting off with my legs flailing out either side. So I decided (upon the advice of a good friend ;-) to abandon my testosterone driven quest and swapped my Honda for a scooter. Now, although I have no gears, I feel slightly girly… but I don’t care… it’s the safe option. (Ya hear that mum)…

So I’m probably gonna hang around Anjuna for another day or so and will then start my little road trip down south…

Until then… smellyalater…

goin' goan

I heart Mumbai... like I seriously frickin' love this place... In face I'm really falling for India in general. After two weeks in Mumbai, I'm dragging myself outta here tonite and jumpin' into a sleeper down to Goa for some fun and frolicing on the beach.
Peace out.
C.

Idiots Guide to the Indian Head Bobble

Wobbley, wobbley… bobbley bobbley… that’s what the average Indian head goes like all day long… no matter what question asked, no matter what statement being made… the head rolls from side to side in a quirkey, quippy manner.

Conor: Are there any train tickets available to Goa today?

Random Injun: {wobbles head}

Conor: Oooookaaayyy, so is that a yes or a no?

Random Injun: {wobbles head more visibly and deliberately}

Conor: Right, so there ARE train tickets available!

Random Injun: {aggressively wobbles head, shouting} Noooo, No Train Too-Day

Conor: Well, that’s fine cos I’m actually quite flexible, so perhaps there are train tickets tomorrow?

Random Injun: {wobbles head in precisely the same manner as before}

Conor: Aw shucks, so there’s no train tomorrow either!

Random Injun: {wobbles head so violently, neck liable to break} Yaar, Train 6.30 Pee Emm Too-Morro, what class You like?

Et cetera, et cetera… thus goes your average exchange when first confronted by the ubiquitous head bobble. Many a traveler has been driven to strangulational tendencies when confronted by this seemingly homogenous head bobble, when actually, over time, one begins to denote the mild differentiating subtleties and one discovers ‘the meaning of the bobble’. So, for the benefit of those to follow in my footstops, here’s Conor’s quick guide to understanding the Indian head bobble:

The root of the bobble:

All head bobbles are essentially the same. It is, in fact, the demeanour, and particularly the facial expression, of the bobber which denotes its meaning and it is to these facets that the bobbee should pay utmost attention.

The bobble as a greeting:

When you enter a room and there are (as there inevitably are in any room in India) many Indians sitting around, they have a tendency to stare at you blankly. A friendly, non-partisan, unassuming smile combined with a slight raising of the eyebrows and a short burst of eye-contact gives the bobble a meaning of unabashed well-wishing and is used as a greeting. You will notice that the blank faces you had previously been presented with, in turn smile and bob gently from one side to the other.

(Note: I equate this to the salam aleikum of Islam, inviting its aleikum asalam, the more elaborate the bobble, the more elaborate the response)

The bobble as a greeting should be the easiest to spot as it will precede interaction (or will not require it at all)

The bobble meaning Yes

Essentially, the positively inclined bobble is the least elaborate of them all. A quick roll of the head from one side to the other, or indeed to only one side, is most likely to be a resounding ‘yes’ or ‘no problem’ or the situational equivalent. This is like the nod back and forwards in Western society. It is the only bobble which will ever be given without eye contact, although sometimes it will include eye contact and then will be combined with raised eyebrows or other positive grimaces.

The bobble meaning No

This tends to be the most elaborate bobble. It will be emphasised and will include at least one nod to the left and one to the right (as opposed to the ‘Yes’ bobble, which may only go one way). It will also be accompanied by eye contact, possibly with a dipping of the eyebrows, a frowning or other such negative facial expressions. It’s possible that a smile will accompany this bobble, but if it does, then it will be an apologetic one, maybe with pursed lips.

The bobble meaning Thank You / You’re welcome

Again, this one is easy to spot, as there’ll be no question involved and an exchange should already have taken place so none of the aforementioned scenarios should be possible. This bobble is similar to the greeting one insofar as it is a pronounced happy-happy-smiley bobble. It can be emphasized or it can be subtle but will almost always be accompanied by a friendly smile or facial expression. It will frequently also include a moving of one or both hands to the chest.

So, now I’ve done my bit for today when it comes to East West relations… I hope that this little post will reduce much friction between Indians and travelers and make the world a much better place. See below for video demonstrations of the multiple bobble types (by a very handsome actor):

Video from Eid in Lahore

Dunno if you remember when I was in Lahore in Pakistan, I was invited to a mad Eid festival and I was ranting on about my mate Alby being dragged up on stage for a dance (see here for original post). Well, as chance would have it, I've bumped into this faux-hippie again here in Mumbai and he did a little collage of the event (in which yours truly features, albeit briefly)... see below.
C

SATC-sytle

It’s one o’clock in the morning and I’m lying here like a friggin’ dickhead, staring at the ceiling of my Mumbai hotel room. When I got back today, I was banjaxed so I had a little nap hoping that it might help me bring my body clock into sync with local sun patterns… no joy so far!

Over the past couple of days, I’ve been thinking about what I’m leaving behind in Ireland and what’s to come for me on this little odyssey. It was great going home for Christmas: a real break from the travels, an opportunity to catch up with friends, spend some time in the bosom of my family (tihi…) and also an opportunity to take a step back from what I’m doing and ponder my life in it’s normal (well, habitual) surroundings…

Over Christmas I’ve been occasionally assailed by pangs of doubt over this whole thing… Sure, on paper taking some time off to travel, especially given the current climate (temporal and economic) at home, is a great thing. However, it’s not without its costs.

There’s the fact that while everyone else is moving up their various career ladders, I’m not… in fact, I can’t even find the ladder. God knows what kind of job my previous experience will land me when I do get back onto it… D’ya want fries with that?

Financially, I’ll be starting from scratch again whenever I do start working again… Everyone else will have pensions and houses and investments and I’ll be standing there with my dick in my hand staring thirty in the face.

But I think the biggest cost is a personal one; geographic removal means that friendships and relationships can’t be nurtured. For me, geographic removal has been a theme of my life. During college I was abroad for five years and had to deal with the same thing then. Sometimes I wonder if I am forgoing deeper friendships by perpetually fucking off. I do think that I’m lucky in this respect though as I have a few really good friends strewn far and wide, and although I don’t see them as often as one should, when I do, we can usually jump back into ‘the way things used to be’… which is cool. Those of you that fall into this category know who you are, and I thank you for that.

Arriving back into Mumbai was a bit of a test… How would it go? How would I feel? Well, I AM happy to be back here; I got a little buzz as soon as I arrived in Heathrow yesterday and arriving in Mumbai with my taxi beeping like a mad motherfucker only served to remind me that the experiences I’m having in this melting pot of humanity do represent the kind of experiences I want to be having right now.

Right, enough of that Carrie Bradshaw, huggy-kissy shite! I’m meeting some friends (from the ashram) tomorrow in Mumbai and will probably head down to the beach (Goa) for a few days to reenergize. Beyond that I don’t really have a plan, but that’s generally perceived to be best, so I’m sure I’ll think of something to do…

Jesus, I hope all my posts aren’t gonna be as gay as this one, but I have my laptop with me now, so it’s gonna be a lot easier to drivel on at length than it has been to-date.

Signing off for your correspondent… back in the madness…

C.

baby go back...

on my way back to mumbai today... yee-haw