Ohmmmmmm

Right, sorry it’s been a while… First of all, I wasn’t anywhere near Mumbai for the incidents a few weeks ago. I was far away from all that and I’m alive and very well indeed.

Can’t remember last time I updated but in brief I’ve been messing around the South of India, particularly in the states of Tamil Nadu and Kerala for the past while. I had a great week on a beach called Varkala, lots of boozing and debauchery. I met a few heads there and decided to make a trip to Munnar, a hill-station in the mountains. So I had three great days walking through tea plantations and the likes by day and drinking bad rum by night. Definitely a place that I’ll return to in the New Year.

By the end of all that, my body was well and thoroughly fucked. I’d consumed more rum, vodka, beer etc. in a space of two weeks than most countries would go through in a year. I’d smoked enough cigarettes to smoke all the salmon in Scotland. I had eaten my way through most of southern India and had a variety of dietary problems (sometimes too much movement, sometimes too little). I had been stung by jellyfish and was nursing a quadrillion mosquito bites on my legs and arms. I was also graced with the attention of a large quantity of leeches while walking through the tea plantations and was plugging and covering the resultant holes in my legs.

So you get the message… I was seriously fuck-arooed and decided that immediate action was necessary. I had been toying with the idea of checking myself into an ashram for a two week yoga course and I decided to take the plunge. I arrived on the steps of Sivananda Ashram last Sunday night. After horsing the last cigarette into my bleeding lungs I passed through the gates and have been living a life of health-freak since then. My daily schedule is as follows:

5.20 Get up outta bed
6.00 – 8.00 Chanting and Meditation
8.00 – 10.00 Yoga Classes
10.00 – 11.00 First Meal
11.00 – 12.30 Chores
12.30 – 2.00 Yoga Personal Coaching
2.00 – 3.00 Yoga Theory Lecture
3.30 – 5.00 Yoga Classes
6.00 – 7.00 Second Meal
8.00 – 10.00 Chanting and Meditation
10.30 Lights Out

We have two vegan meals a day… the only break from veganism is a glass of buttermilk that’s offered to those who want some dairy… Believe it or not, I actually fall into this category.

We have four hours of yoga exercises a day and I can now touch my toes (hadn’t been the case since I was about nine years old). I also haven’t smoked or drank in four days.

So that’s why I haven’t updated… phones and internet are considered not good for karma and are banned. I had to bail on my chores and sneak out to the local town today to update this… I hope you realize that I’m risking my life for you guys…

I’m off now to do some more yoga… I have loads of photos but I don’t think that I’ll find a connection fast enough to upload them for the next week or two…

Until then…. Wish me enlightenment!

Ohmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm