Idiots Guide to the Indian Head Bobble

Wobbley, wobbley… bobbley bobbley… that’s what the average Indian head goes like all day long… no matter what question asked, no matter what statement being made… the head rolls from side to side in a quirkey, quippy manner.

Conor: Are there any train tickets available to Goa today?

Random Injun: {wobbles head}

Conor: Oooookaaayyy, so is that a yes or a no?

Random Injun: {wobbles head more visibly and deliberately}

Conor: Right, so there ARE train tickets available!

Random Injun: {aggressively wobbles head, shouting} Noooo, No Train Too-Day

Conor: Well, that’s fine cos I’m actually quite flexible, so perhaps there are train tickets tomorrow?

Random Injun: {wobbles head in precisely the same manner as before}

Conor: Aw shucks, so there’s no train tomorrow either!

Random Injun: {wobbles head so violently, neck liable to break} Yaar, Train 6.30 Pee Emm Too-Morro, what class You like?

Et cetera, et cetera… thus goes your average exchange when first confronted by the ubiquitous head bobble. Many a traveler has been driven to strangulational tendencies when confronted by this seemingly homogenous head bobble, when actually, over time, one begins to denote the mild differentiating subtleties and one discovers ‘the meaning of the bobble’. So, for the benefit of those to follow in my footstops, here’s Conor’s quick guide to understanding the Indian head bobble:

The root of the bobble:

All head bobbles are essentially the same. It is, in fact, the demeanour, and particularly the facial expression, of the bobber which denotes its meaning and it is to these facets that the bobbee should pay utmost attention.

The bobble as a greeting:

When you enter a room and there are (as there inevitably are in any room in India) many Indians sitting around, they have a tendency to stare at you blankly. A friendly, non-partisan, unassuming smile combined with a slight raising of the eyebrows and a short burst of eye-contact gives the bobble a meaning of unabashed well-wishing and is used as a greeting. You will notice that the blank faces you had previously been presented with, in turn smile and bob gently from one side to the other.

(Note: I equate this to the salam aleikum of Islam, inviting its aleikum asalam, the more elaborate the bobble, the more elaborate the response)

The bobble as a greeting should be the easiest to spot as it will precede interaction (or will not require it at all)

The bobble meaning Yes

Essentially, the positively inclined bobble is the least elaborate of them all. A quick roll of the head from one side to the other, or indeed to only one side, is most likely to be a resounding ‘yes’ or ‘no problem’ or the situational equivalent. This is like the nod back and forwards in Western society. It is the only bobble which will ever be given without eye contact, although sometimes it will include eye contact and then will be combined with raised eyebrows or other positive grimaces.

The bobble meaning No

This tends to be the most elaborate bobble. It will be emphasised and will include at least one nod to the left and one to the right (as opposed to the ‘Yes’ bobble, which may only go one way). It will also be accompanied by eye contact, possibly with a dipping of the eyebrows, a frowning or other such negative facial expressions. It’s possible that a smile will accompany this bobble, but if it does, then it will be an apologetic one, maybe with pursed lips.

The bobble meaning Thank You / You’re welcome

Again, this one is easy to spot, as there’ll be no question involved and an exchange should already have taken place so none of the aforementioned scenarios should be possible. This bobble is similar to the greeting one insofar as it is a pronounced happy-happy-smiley bobble. It can be emphasized or it can be subtle but will almost always be accompanied by a friendly smile or facial expression. It will frequently also include a moving of one or both hands to the chest.

So, now I’ve done my bit for today when it comes to East West relations… I hope that this little post will reduce much friction between Indians and travelers and make the world a much better place. See below for video demonstrations of the multiple bobble types (by a very handsome actor):