SATC-sytle

It’s one o’clock in the morning and I’m lying here like a friggin’ dickhead, staring at the ceiling of my Mumbai hotel room. When I got back today, I was banjaxed so I had a little nap hoping that it might help me bring my body clock into sync with local sun patterns… no joy so far!

Over the past couple of days, I’ve been thinking about what I’m leaving behind in Ireland and what’s to come for me on this little odyssey. It was great going home for Christmas: a real break from the travels, an opportunity to catch up with friends, spend some time in the bosom of my family (tihi…) and also an opportunity to take a step back from what I’m doing and ponder my life in it’s normal (well, habitual) surroundings…

Over Christmas I’ve been occasionally assailed by pangs of doubt over this whole thing… Sure, on paper taking some time off to travel, especially given the current climate (temporal and economic) at home, is a great thing. However, it’s not without its costs.

There’s the fact that while everyone else is moving up their various career ladders, I’m not… in fact, I can’t even find the ladder. God knows what kind of job my previous experience will land me when I do get back onto it… D’ya want fries with that?

Financially, I’ll be starting from scratch again whenever I do start working again… Everyone else will have pensions and houses and investments and I’ll be standing there with my dick in my hand staring thirty in the face.

But I think the biggest cost is a personal one; geographic removal means that friendships and relationships can’t be nurtured. For me, geographic removal has been a theme of my life. During college I was abroad for five years and had to deal with the same thing then. Sometimes I wonder if I am forgoing deeper friendships by perpetually fucking off. I do think that I’m lucky in this respect though as I have a few really good friends strewn far and wide, and although I don’t see them as often as one should, when I do, we can usually jump back into ‘the way things used to be’… which is cool. Those of you that fall into this category know who you are, and I thank you for that.

Arriving back into Mumbai was a bit of a test… How would it go? How would I feel? Well, I AM happy to be back here; I got a little buzz as soon as I arrived in Heathrow yesterday and arriving in Mumbai with my taxi beeping like a mad motherfucker only served to remind me that the experiences I’m having in this melting pot of humanity do represent the kind of experiences I want to be having right now.

Right, enough of that Carrie Bradshaw, huggy-kissy shite! I’m meeting some friends (from the ashram) tomorrow in Mumbai and will probably head down to the beach (Goa) for a few days to reenergize. Beyond that I don’t really have a plan, but that’s generally perceived to be best, so I’m sure I’ll think of something to do…

Jesus, I hope all my posts aren’t gonna be as gay as this one, but I have my laptop with me now, so it’s gonna be a lot easier to drivel on at length than it has been to-date.

Signing off for your correspondent… back in the madness…

C.