Nocturnal Giant

Last night I had a lot to drink... I met up with my good friend Sudeep, who I had met in Goa, and we went out to a club. I was coming home at about three o'clock this morning. I was well oiled... had a rake of beers and some shots etc. etc. etc. So I'm alone, sauntering down the empty main bazaar in the Paherganj area of Delhi, it's drizzling lightly and there's not a sinner around... I turn a corner and what do I bump into...? ...... An elephant!

And it wasn't like he was being led somewhere or he had a driver, he was just loitering there all on his lonesome, pushing cardboard into his mouth with his trunk. So in my inebriated state, I started chatting away to him and then started inching past him to my hotel. But he seemed to take a liking to me and walked alongside me, and anytime I put out my hand, he'd reciprocate and give me a high-five with his trunk. By the time I got to my hotel, it was just me and him... best of buds!

So then I brought him up to my room and he fell asleep in the bed beside me... he snored like a mofo and in the morning we had bamboo leaves for breakfast!

Alright... so that last bit is a lie, but up until then it was all true. I had to say goodbye to him when we got to the hotel... it was very sad... he stopped and looked at me with his big floppy ears and his little tail flapping around his bum.

So yeah, Elephants are definitely the new favourite animal!