Well Toto, you mangy wreck of a cat (This particular Toto's a cat, the canine equivalent not being widely available for Wizard of Oz quotations in Turkey), I think we're not in Kansas anymore!
As previously mentioned, I've horsed myself off the tourist trail to Trabzon, on the northeast coast of Turkey, on the Black Sea... and... well... ehhh... things ain't as easy as they were. I've gotta say that the southwestern tourist ring is very accessible indeed. Buses bring you more or less from hostel door to hostel door, you don't really have to choose a hostel as you're ushered from one affilliation to the next, there's always plenty of gringos around to combat isolation etc. etc. etc.
Up here things are a bit different: I was dumped in the industrial swampland that passes for the bus station and hiked for 20 minutes into the town centre. Since I've been in Turkey, I've realised that the guide I bought was published during the middle ages so any information it has is a tad out of date... When I got to the town centre, I hiked around a bit for a cheap hotel and ended up with a cosy little windowless oven on the sixth floor of a run-down shithole of a place. Cheap as chips though... All the other hotel guests were very attractive Russian girls, who swanned around in skimpy nightclothes and lay seductively on their beds with the doors of their rooms open... ehhhhhhh yeah... well, at least it wasn't a brothel!
Since I've come away, I've enjoyed getting back into some old travelling habits. One particular such habit is named the Poshite. The Oxford English dictionary defines the poshite as: 'the art of leveraging the lavatory facilities of upmarket western hotels for defecational purposes without actually being a patron'. It's not really nuclear physics and I'm sure everyone does it, but I think it's great... You have to stroll up the door with a swagger and oozing confidence. As you approach the doorman, it is this confidence that will sink or swim you. Part of the doorman's basic training has been identification of poshiters and their subsequent deterral, so you have to be strong. As you approach the following is going through the doorman's head: "This fucker is gonna come in here and shit and leave without paying for anything.... but he is western... what if he's a guest that I haven't seen yet.... wait a second, he's dressed like a tramp... but he is western... what if he's one of those new aged hippies that stays in upmarket hotels but dons tramps clothing to mingle with the locals during the day.... what'll I do... what'll I do......". If, at this point, you show even the slightest waver of doubt or lack of conviction, you're done for... You have to persevere and stroll in there as if you own the place, passing him with a smile and 'good afternoon', which no doubt he'll feebly reciprocate. Occassionally, you'll get a lacky who'll feel hard done by and will shadow you on your stroll across the reception, in which case you go to the bar, look around for 'that person that you have to meet', look at your watch, shake your head and say tut-tut and then turn around and ask HIM directly where the toilets are. On your way out then, you just stroll and everyone's looking at you, and everyone knows what you just did... but it doesn't matter, cos it's done now, and you can't take it back... (haha, imagine the thought of them getting you to take it back...)...
While we're on the topic of defectation, the Turks have this great little invention. It's a little nozzle at the back of the toilet which is aimed upwards. You sit down... you do your business... and then you turn a little knob to the side of the loo. And low-and-behold a stream of high pressure water comes out of the nozzle, aimed directly at the... ahem... particular....ehh.... orifice in question, washes it of all... ahem... debris... and bob's your uncle! Afterwards, you take some loo paper and 'pat down' to dry things off... Seo e agus sin a bhfuil as we say!!!
So, I've been talking shit for long enough... Today, I decided to check out of my brothel and went to visit the Sumela monastery perched up in the mountains... It was pretty groovy and gave me enough opportunity to walk around in forests, which is why I came to the Black Sea, so I've decided that I have enough of it and I'm going to hop straight on a bus out of here and try to make my way into (cheap) Iran asap... I don't have the cash to stay in Turkey any longer... it's too pricey! So I'm going to Van tonite, the most eastern city in Turkey and crossing point to Persia of old... I'll probably stay there for a few days getting my shit together for Iran (buying long trousers, converting to Islam, arranging circumcision etc.)
If you're reading this blog, you should leave messages, cos it inspires me to write... If I think no-one's reading, I won't write anything... If you have a question, ask away and I'll answer it in the next posting...
May allah (peace be upon him) be with you all...
C-man
Friday, August 22, 2008
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
Bram Stoker's Laïcité
OK, I admit it, I've been neglecting my blog a little bit... but it's all good now, cos I feel myself slipping into blog mode and have decided to pleasure you all with a decent post.
First of all a bit of a round-up of what I've been up to in the last few weeks. To begin with I had a ball of a time in Istanbul. It's a great city and the Istanbulonians are a swell bunch of folks. I didn't do too many of the 'touristy' things but I generally relaxed and soaked up the vibes of this ancient city... Istanbul (and indeed Turkey) has a mad history, having been consistantly shagged around between the Greeks, Romans and Ottomans... It has been named Byzantine and Constantinople before its current nomenclature and has seen sieges and world wars bloody the Bosphorous.
I met a Turkish guy on his holidays and he accompanied me from Istanbul to Izmir, Turkey's second biggest city where we spent a few days walking around and soaking in the rays, before heading on to Ephesus, mentioned in a previous post.
From Ephesus I got a bus to Fethiye on the Mediterranean and hopped into a Gulet (or large sailing boat) which made it's way along the coast for four days to the town of Olympus. The cruise was great craic altogether. There were about fourteen of us (Yanks, Aussies and Wops) and we generally lazed around in the sun all day waiting for the bell to ring so that we could gorge ourselves on the very tasty chow that our chef prepared. In the evenings we played cards and had a few beers and then slept up on deck under the manically shooting stars of the northern Med. One night we went to a bar on the shore and danced our little hearts out (or 'got low' as the yanks say). I sweat so much that I had to go for a dip every half hour to cool down. Apart from all that madness the days were spent cruising along and stopping in inlets and at beaches every now and then for a pre- or post-chow swim.
After that I spent a few days in Olympos trekking around the variety of greco-roman ruins that the town is known for. Yesterday I left the coast and headed inland to Cappadocia, an area of central anatolia known for it's caves. Basically what happened was that a volcano shagged out a load of ash a quadrillion years ago, which then compacted to become a soft stone. This stone was part eroded by water and created these mad constructions which the locals saw fit to hollow out and live in. So my abode here is a little cave which remains cool all day and all night... it's sooper dooper altogether.
Anyway, so I'm gonna jump on another bus tomorrow evening and make my way to the northern coast of Turkey at the Black Sea. This will take me out of the gringo loop that most tourists follow (Istanbul, Aegean, Mediterranean, Ankara and back to Istanbul) and should be interesting. The area is close to Georgia and I was thinking of popping in and getting blown up by the Rooski's but I decided against it...
The buses here in Turkey are pretty good. They are generally used as the main mode of transport between cities. They are spacious, well air conditioned, cheap, fast and the roads are good. The trip to Trabzon is about 15 hours so I'll hop on tomorrow evening around sevenish and sleep on the bus arriving refreshed and ready to rock and roll in Trabzon the next day. I also save myself a hostel this way (Ain't I just the bestest!).
An interesting thing about Turkey is the absolute veneration of this guy, Ataturk. Every single shop you go into has a picture of him hanging up on the wall. If you see a statue, you don't even have to look to see who it might be of, it's always Ataturk. His mug adorns the Turkish flag everywhere. He is absolutely adored by the Turks, who essentially consider him their father (Ataturk means father of the Turks).
He was a general in World War I and was Turkey's first president upon the fall of the Ottoman Empire after the war. He was pretty visionary; He set up the Turkish state as it is today, made it secular, changed the script from arabic to latin and led the country through the reform necessary for a new republic after the loss of the war and the dissolution of the Ottoman Empire. The turks are supremely proud of what they achieved after their fall from greatness and this pride manifests itself in profound veneration, bordering on a personality cult.
I think he looks a little bit like Count Dracula, but I don't tell the Turks that cos they wouldn't be happy at all. (They're super nationalist, last week I wanted to buy a towel with the Turkish flag on it and the prospect of me drying my infidel nether-regions with their beloved drapeau nearly caused the shopkeeper to beat seven shades of shi'ite out of me). Waddayathink? The prince of darkness or what?
First of all a bit of a round-up of what I've been up to in the last few weeks. To begin with I had a ball of a time in Istanbul. It's a great city and the Istanbulonians are a swell bunch of folks. I didn't do too many of the 'touristy' things but I generally relaxed and soaked up the vibes of this ancient city... Istanbul (and indeed Turkey) has a mad history, having been consistantly shagged around between the Greeks, Romans and Ottomans... It has been named Byzantine and Constantinople before its current nomenclature and has seen sieges and world wars bloody the Bosphorous.
I met a Turkish guy on his holidays and he accompanied me from Istanbul to Izmir, Turkey's second biggest city where we spent a few days walking around and soaking in the rays, before heading on to Ephesus, mentioned in a previous post.
From Ephesus I got a bus to Fethiye on the Mediterranean and hopped into a Gulet (or large sailing boat) which made it's way along the coast for four days to the town of Olympus. The cruise was great craic altogether. There were about fourteen of us (Yanks, Aussies and Wops) and we generally lazed around in the sun all day waiting for the bell to ring so that we could gorge ourselves on the very tasty chow that our chef prepared. In the evenings we played cards and had a few beers and then slept up on deck under the manically shooting stars of the northern Med. One night we went to a bar on the shore and danced our little hearts out (or 'got low' as the yanks say). I sweat so much that I had to go for a dip every half hour to cool down. Apart from all that madness the days were spent cruising along and stopping in inlets and at beaches every now and then for a pre- or post-chow swim.
After that I spent a few days in Olympos trekking around the variety of greco-roman ruins that the town is known for. Yesterday I left the coast and headed inland to Cappadocia, an area of central anatolia known for it's caves. Basically what happened was that a volcano shagged out a load of ash a quadrillion years ago, which then compacted to become a soft stone. This stone was part eroded by water and created these mad constructions which the locals saw fit to hollow out and live in. So my abode here is a little cave which remains cool all day and all night... it's sooper dooper altogether.
Anyway, so I'm gonna jump on another bus tomorrow evening and make my way to the northern coast of Turkey at the Black Sea. This will take me out of the gringo loop that most tourists follow (Istanbul, Aegean, Mediterranean, Ankara and back to Istanbul) and should be interesting. The area is close to Georgia and I was thinking of popping in and getting blown up by the Rooski's but I decided against it...
The buses here in Turkey are pretty good. They are generally used as the main mode of transport between cities. They are spacious, well air conditioned, cheap, fast and the roads are good. The trip to Trabzon is about 15 hours so I'll hop on tomorrow evening around sevenish and sleep on the bus arriving refreshed and ready to rock and roll in Trabzon the next day. I also save myself a hostel this way (Ain't I just the bestest!).
An interesting thing about Turkey is the absolute veneration of this guy, Ataturk. Every single shop you go into has a picture of him hanging up on the wall. If you see a statue, you don't even have to look to see who it might be of, it's always Ataturk. His mug adorns the Turkish flag everywhere. He is absolutely adored by the Turks, who essentially consider him their father (Ataturk means father of the Turks).
He was a general in World War I and was Turkey's first president upon the fall of the Ottoman Empire after the war. He was pretty visionary; He set up the Turkish state as it is today, made it secular, changed the script from arabic to latin and led the country through the reform necessary for a new republic after the loss of the war and the dissolution of the Ottoman Empire. The turks are supremely proud of what they achieved after their fall from greatness and this pride manifests itself in profound veneration, bordering on a personality cult.
I think he looks a little bit like Count Dracula, but I don't tell the Turks that cos they wouldn't be happy at all. (They're super nationalist, last week I wanted to buy a towel with the Turkish flag on it and the prospect of me drying my infidel nether-regions with their beloved drapeau nearly caused the shopkeeper to beat seven shades of shi'ite out of me). Waddayathink? The prince of darkness or what?
I read that Ahmadinejad, that wily Iranian president, visited Turkey to have a chinwag with Ergodan, the Turkish PM. (The Turks are eager to act as interlocuteurs between the Iranians and the US over ye ol' nuclear issue...). It's standard practice for dignitaries visiting Ankara to visit the mauseleum of Dracula... sorry Ataturk... and 'they' say that Ahmadinejad did not visit Ankara, but instead went to Istanbul, in order to not have to visit the 'shrine to secularism' that is Ataturk's mauseleum, an ideology that the Iranian mullahs might not be too favourable of. See article here.
That's all for today... I hope you're all behaving yourselves...
Ur man in Turkey... C.
PS. For all those French who think that they invented secularism, you're wrong!
PPS. Saw a camel today... or maybe a dromedary... well, it was camel like anyway
Sunday, August 17, 2008
Turkey Photos
Right folks, finally managed to get some photos up... will give them some narratives later. On my way from the coast today moving towards the interior of the country towards Goreme in the Cappadocia region.
C.
Oh yeah, and yesterday we got up early to see baby turtles hatch out of their eggs and make their way to the see... We stood guard so that the birds wouldn't get them... frickin' ueber cute;
C.
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| 001 Turkey |
Oh yeah, and yesterday we got up early to see baby turtles hatch out of their eggs and make their way to the see... We stood guard so that the birds wouldn't get them... frickin' ueber cute;
Friday, August 15, 2008
quickie
Just a quickie before I do a proper photo update tomorrow: I left Istanbul on Friday last and have made my way down the Aegean and then the Mediterrean coast of Turkey since then. I started off with two days in Izmir, Turkey's second largest city, then a night in Selcuk to see the ruins of Epheseus and the Temple of Artemis, then a night in Fetiyeh preparing for a four day Med cruise which has just delivered me to the little town of Olympus.
Before I left Istanbul, I visited a 'hamam' or turkish bath and got a massage. The guy who massaged me can only be described as a big fat sado masochist. He started with an exfoliation which was paramount to skinning me alive.... then slapped me down on a marble surface and proceeded to generally beat me up in a very violent manner. After punching me in the gut for about five minutes he started bending my extremities in directions that they're not supposed to be bent in... It was very sore and every now and then I let out a little shriek (like a little girl) which only served to have him increase the ferociousness of the violation and grumble Turkish insults at me.
Will post photos tomorrow.
Before I left Istanbul, I visited a 'hamam' or turkish bath and got a massage. The guy who massaged me can only be described as a big fat sado masochist. He started with an exfoliation which was paramount to skinning me alive.... then slapped me down on a marble surface and proceeded to generally beat me up in a very violent manner. After punching me in the gut for about five minutes he started bending my extremities in directions that they're not supposed to be bent in... It was very sore and every now and then I let out a little shriek (like a little girl) which only served to have him increase the ferociousness of the violation and grumble Turkish insults at me.
Will post photos tomorrow.
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